Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
