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Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
