all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
