I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
