Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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