Screwed.edu
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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