but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
