My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
