Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
