oh god the rape fog is back!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
