i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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