Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize