The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I will be naked everywhere
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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