C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
