So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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