Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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