her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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