if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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