Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
