it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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