Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
