I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she peed on how many people?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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