I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
