This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize