yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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