The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
