dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
