I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
