look no pants
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
my liver is dry heaving
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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