fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
