Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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