i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
