Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
