You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize