Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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