i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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