i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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