Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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