Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
