Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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