In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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