My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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