Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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