Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
