I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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