plz talk dirty to me
Screwed.edu
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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