I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
