I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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