Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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