I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
