What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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