No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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