mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
