Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
