how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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