the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
