I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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